After the Wedding
by sammie987
Summary: There is no rebellion. Peeta and Katniss go through with the Capitol wedding. Will Katniss accept her fate? How will Peeta nurse his broken heart? Everlark.
1. Chapter 1

Peeta and Katniss go through with the Capitol wedding. There is no rebellion. Katniss' pov as she tries to prove to Peeta that their marriage is real.

 **After the wedding**

We ride to the hotel in a limousine. Peeta is staring at the complimentary champagne but I know he won't open it. He seems lost in his thoughts with a small frown on his face. I study him, trying to decipher what he's feeling. Suddenly I'm brought back to Haymitch's words when I proposed this idea.

" _What's wrong with him?"_ I'd asked. " _I thought he wanted this_." I can still see Haymitch's disappointed gaze as he responded, " _Not like this he didn't._ " " _You could live a thousand lifetimes and never deserve that boy"_ he said on another occasion. Even earlier this evening as we danced, _"Try to treat him right, you're breaking his heart."_

 _Is this what Peeta looks like with a broken heart?_ I think to myself as I continue staring at him. I try to put myself in his shoes. Forced to marry the person he loves in front of an audience. Having her act like she loves him back all as part of the show. Every kiss a painful reminder that he doesn't have what he so clearly wants.

 _Well he does have me now,_ I think. We are legally married. Divorce is unheard of in 12. And the idea that the Capitol would allow us to divorce is laughable. Though if we were married in 12, there would have been a toasting.

The limo slows and Petra glances up at me. He throws me a small smile as he takes my hand and leads me up to our hotel room.

The Capitol spared no expense at our wedding, nor in this room. The room covers the entire top floor of what must be the tallest building in the city. Peeta walks out to balcony and calls me over to see. The view from up here is breathtaking. I sneak a look at Peeta and notice he looks happy.

"I wish I could paint this," he tells me with an excited look.

"You should when we get back to 12," I tell him. "I can't wait to see it."

We both look at each other in silence for a beat, and I'm surprised that I have the urge to reach up and kiss him. I briefly wonder if any cameras are watching us now, and conclude that most likely there are. So I decide against it. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and lean my cheek against his chest.

Peeta rests his arms around me in a lazy embrace. Then he excuses himself to take a shower and I take one as well after he's finished.

When we settle into bed, I lay my face on his chest as his right arm holds me. I breathe in his scent. I can finally feel my muscles relaxing after such a stressful day. I bury my face further into the crook of his arm and tighten my arms against him.

Peeta leans down and plants a small kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight, Katniss" he whispers.

I know I should respond but I feel my eyes water up and I don't trust my voice. I know Peeta would never push me to do something I wasn't ready for, but I find myself disappointed that he didn't try. In fact, he's been strangely quiet tonight since we've been alone. " _You're breaking his heart_ ," Haymitch's voice reminds me. I hug Peeta even tighter. He doesn't deserve this. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fall in love or give him children. I can't afford to. But tonight I decide that I'll do everything I can to make Peeta happy. To be a good wife. To make the best out of our situation together.

With that thought, I give Peeta's chest a small peck. A promise. And I drift off to sleep.

 **District 12**

Peeta is still being strangely quiet as he helps me move the last of my belongings into his house. Our house, I remind myself. Maybe it's the heat of the day, or my lingering disappointment over our wedding night, but I find myself growing increasingly agitated at his newfound silence.

"What's wrong Peeta?" I spit out a little too harshly. I straighten up from unpacking and stare at him, demanding a response.

He wipes off a few beads of sweat from his forehead as he considers me. He looks reluctant as he glances down, shaking his head and running his hand through his hair.

"I think we should talk," he says with a sigh.

I nod and follow him to the kitchen table. He pours us both a cup of water and I sit, running my index finger along the rim of the glass. His tone has made me anxious as I wait for him to start.

"Look Katniss, I've been thinking and I'm sorry," he says reaching out to clasp my hand in his.

"I know you didn't want to marry me. I'm sorry you didn't have a choice," he continues.

Peeta takes his hand away and stares at the wall to his left.

"I don't expect anything from you. I understand that you have feelings for Gale and I won't stop you from seeing him. I just want you to be happy. Well, as happy as you can be here with me," he finishes, finally meeting my gaze.

I feel my face settle into a scowl as I try to keep my temper in check.

" _What!?"_ I snap at him. I take in the surprised look on his face as I begin.

"So you just happen to know how I feel, don't you, Peeta. Do you really think I would sneak around behind your back with Gale?" I ask.

"It wouldn't be sneaking around," he interrupts. "I'm giving you permission."

"Oh really? And what about you? Are you going to sneak off in the middle of the night with some girl?" I counter.

"No, of course not," Peeta states in a carefully controlled tone. I feel my anger deflate.

"Well good, because no one is cheating on anyone in this house. I took my marriage vows and I intend to keep them," I state, finishing my water.

"You don't mean that," Peeta whispers. "I know our marriage isn't real. You don't have to make it worse by pretending that it is."

The bitterness in his voice squeezes my heart. I stand up and move in front of Peeta's chair. I hug him and press his face to my chest. I run my fingers through his hair.

"Katniss, don't," Pests starts. He sounds pained.

"No, stop," I interrupt him. "Peeta, you're my husband. I'm your wife now. Maybe it didn't start off how we wanted but that doesn't mean it's not real. We're married. And I can't make any promises but I'll try to be a good wife to you."

I lean back and lift up his chin to meet my eyes and press a gentle kiss to his lips. Peeta doesn't look convinced.

"What about Gale?" he asks.

"What about him?" I sigh. "It's not like we could ever be together anyway."

"Yeah but you love him. You deserve to be happy with the person you love."

I scowl at him as I gather my thoughts. "Peeta, I want you to listen very carefully to me, because I'm only going to say this once. Yes, I love Gale, but I'm not _in love with him_. You're my husband. My future is with _you._ Only you."

I grin at him, "Will you allow it?"

He smiles back. "Yeah, I'll allow it."


	2. Chapter 2

After our little talk, we return to the living room to begin unpacking. Despite my victor's winnings, I still don't have that much in the way of belongings. Cinna sent me a full wardrobe but I only brought a few outfits that I actually wear. The vast array of makeup and lotions my prep team left me remain untouched in a closet. I decide to begin with the items I want to leave downstairs.

I pull out the frame containing my father's portrait. A wave of emotion hits me. I almost laugh at the absurdity of it all. Would he have ever guessed that one day his picture would sit in the Victor's Village, in Peeta and I's home? I wonder what he would make of all this. I'd like to think he would approve of Peeta. He's pretty hard not to like.

"Is it okay if I place this on the mantle?" I ask Peeta.

"Of course," he replies easily. "It's your home too. You can place everything any place you like."

"Would you like to put your jacket and boots in the mudroom?" he questions, looking up from a box.

"Sure, that would be great," I respond politely.

Peeta leaves to hang up my jacket. I watch his form and shake my head. Our conversations have been so formal lately. I'm not sure how to fix that.

I take out my plant book and leave it on the coffee table. I want to look through it later. It makes me feel closer to my father.

When Peeta returns, I tell him that all that's left are my clothes. He offers to bring them upstairs.

"I think I'm going to paint for a while," he tells me as he lifts up the bags of clothes.

"Oh, okay," I tell him. I'm not really sure what to do with my time now. I stopped hunting after the Victory Tour.

"I guess I'll go visit my mom and Prim," I tell him.

"Okay, see you later," he says as he turns and walks up the stairs.

I walk into my old kitchen and sit down at the table. My mother walks into the kitchen and looks at me in surprise.

"What are you doing here?" she asks.

"Peeta's painting and I wasn't sure what to do…" I drift off.

"Well, you have responsibilities now," she starts. "What are you going to make for dinner?"

I didn't even think about that. I was so sick with anxiety about the wedding, I never planned for my life after it. Now that my choice has been made for me, I want to settle into this new chapter of my life as quietly as possible. I've had enough excitement to last several lifetimes.

"Well, help me dry these herbs and I'll pack something for you to cook."

I get up to help her. I'm quiet as I consider the other things I should be doing now that I'm a wife. _Wife_. I feel like the word doesn't describe me. It feels so foreign. I never thought I would be married.

I guess I should start doing our laundry and keeping up the house. I need something to pass the time anyway. I make a mental note to ask Peeta about it later.

In a way I feel like Peeta got the worst end of our deal. I have peace knowing that our marriage convinced the districts and saved my family. My future is finally certain for once. Live out the rest of my days with Peeta as the "star-crossed lovers from District Twelve," mentor once a year, and try to keep out of the spotlight.

Peeta, on the other hand, has to live with me knowing that I don't love him back. Pretending it's real all the while knowing it's not.

I suddenly panic as I recall the way I kissed him this morning. It was just a peck but I didn't think as to how it would make Peeta feel. I don't want to give him false hope. I just wanted him to understand I wouldn't find another lover, like he thought. I never plan on being in love. Another person to love is another person the Capitol can use against me.

I let out a sigh. I'm not sure where to draw the line. I just don't want to hurt Peeta's feelings more than necessary. It's not like he had a choice in the matter either.

We finish setting out the herbs to dry. My mother hands me a turkey and a packet of herbs to season it with. I decide to head over to Peeta's house now since the bird will take a few hours to cook.

Once inside, I put the bird in the oven to bake and look for ways to tidy up. I quickly realize there's nothing to clean. The house is virtually spotless. I drum my fingers on the table and watch the clock tick away. Maybe it's because I'm not used to this house, but I start to feel lonely. I can feel myself growing restless until I remember I haven't put my clothes away.

I head upstairs and notice that the door to the room on the far left is closed. That must be where Peeta paints. I enter the master bedroom assuming that is Peeta's room. The room has his belongings in it. I've found his clothes and a random sketchpad or two. Problem is I can't locate my clothes. I initially thought he already put them away but they are nowhere to be found.

Maybe he put them in the wash? They were already clean but Peeta doesn't know that. I turn to check the washing machine downstairs but I catch a glimpse of some bags in the room across the hall on my way out. I venture inside to find the bags stacked neatly by the closet.

I don't know why I feel like someone just punched me in the gut. It's ridiculous anyway. I don't know why I assumed I'd stay in Peeta's room. He's given me more than enough space. He probably thinks he's doing me a favor.

I leave the clothes unpacked and bury my face in the bed. I figure it is for the best.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

 **A/N:**

My inspiration for Katniss' acceptance of the forced marriage was 1.) her not understanding why Gale was ranting about the Capitol in the woods since nothing would change it in the first book, and 2.) her reluctance to join the rebellion because she only cared about her family's survival and eventually, Peeta's survival, in the second book. Katniss has a habit of accepting her situation and the fact that she has to play along with the Capitol's rules.

Peeta has his guard up because she broke his heart in the first book and was acting during the Victory Tour which has recently ended in this setting.

Also, thank you for all the reviews and follows! This is my first fanfic, and it's so exciting that people like my story! :)

All characters belong to Suzanne Collins.

…...

I'm awoken by someone shaking my shoulder.

"Hey," Peeta whispers. "I didn't want to wake you up but dinner's done. And since you made it and all…" he trails off.

"Oh, sorry! I didn't mean to fall asleep. Did it burn?" I ask him, yawning and stretching out my arms.

"No, I smelled the turkey and wandered down to see what was cooking. I finished it so you could keep sleeping," he replies.

At the table, Peeta already has two plates ready. He made steamed vegetables and bread to go along with the roasted bird.

As we eat, Peeta tries to strike up a conversation. "How was seeing your mom?" he asks.

"Good," I reply. "She gave me the turkey. How was painting?"

"It was good. I've been trying to get the right shade of grey right, but I'm taking a break."

It is silent for a few minutes as we continue to eat.

It's starting to get awkward. I'm hoping Peeta will try to pick up the conversation because I can't think of anything to say.

I keep stealing glances at him but he looks perfectly content there eating his dinner.

Suddenly, I remember to bring up the chores.

"So, I was thinking I can start doing the laundry and cooking from now on," I start.

Peeta looks up from his plate and a look crosses his features that I can't distinguish.

"Oh, I don't mind cooking," he replies. "I actually enjoy it."

Right, he's a baker. I'm actually pretty sure he added something to the turkey because it tastes better than the few times I've helped my mom cook one.

"And you don't have to worry about cleaning. I've always done it myself anyway. And I'll do my own laundry," he continues.

I think he notices my scowl because he timidly adds, "But you can help if you want. I won't mind."

"I'm just not sure what to do with my time now," I tell him.

"You could design my wardrobe," Peeta comments, trying to conceal a grin.

I scoff. "Yeah, let's not go down that road again. I've tried every hobby in the book and apparently I'm good at nothing."

"You could try on some dresses for me. I know how much you love that." He's barely containing his laughter now.

I roll my eyes at him, but my lips are lifting up on their own accord. I look at the mirth in Peeta's eyes and can't handle it any longer. We both begin laughing at the same time.

After the laughter dies down, Peeta says, "Don't worry about it. I'm sure you'll find something."

I shrug and we get up to clear the plates. I end up washing and Peeta drying.

"I'm feeling pretty tired. I think I'm going to head to bed now," Peeta tells me.

"Okay," I say.

After he walks upstairs, I sit down on the sofa to look through my plant book. I can't believe how alone I've felt today. I've always been a loner but never felt _lonely_.

I dismiss those thoughts with a shake of my head. I have a feeling I won't get much sleep tonight. There's nothing to do unless I want to watch t.v., so after avoiding it as long as possible, I reluctantly go to my new room.

I lay there staring at the ceiling for what seems like hours. I can hear Peeta snoring and feel jealous at how easily he's sleeping tonight.

Suddenly, his snoring stops. After a few minutes I hear some bumping around and hear Peeta walking to my room until he stops at the threshold, watching me. He doesn't turn on the light so I pretend I'm asleep. He's breathing heavily.

After a few moments, I hear his breathing slow back to normal. He turns away and re-enters his room.

Now I'm wide awake. I sigh. I should have just said something.

I turn over and place the pillow over my head in frustration. Eventually, I drift off into a fitful sleep.

Once again, I'm awoken by someone shaking my shoulder.

"Katniss, wake up. It's just a dream. Katniss!" the voice says.

I'm disoriented but can feel the panic washing over me, squeezing my heart and stomach.

I bolt up, eyes wide, to find Peeta's blue eyes staring at me concerningly.

"I heard you screaming. It's okay, Katniss. It was just a dream. It's not real," he soothes.

I can't remember what the dream was about but it must have been horrible. I still feel scared and have tears running down my face unbidden. At Peeta's words, I begin to sob.

"Hey there, it's okay," he says as he slides onto the bed to take me in his arms.

I clutch onto him and we hold each other until my crying subsides.

Peeta gives me a small kiss on the top of my head. "Go to sleep, Katniss," he whispers as he begins to get up.

I catch his hand and he pauses, looking at my eyes.

"Peeta, will you stay with me?" I ask.

He nods and moves to get under the covers but I stop him.

"Can we go to your room?" I plead. I feel like the strangeness of this room is contributing to my nightmares.

Peeta acquiesces and takes my hand, pulling me up. He walks us across the hall to his room, still holding my hand.

I climb onto his bed and instantly feel tired.

"Ohh, this is nice," I sigh, closing my eyes. "It smells like you."

I'm already falling asleep but I think I hear Peeta chuckle as he wraps me in his arms.


End file.
